Personality traits of the traveller

When I first told friends that I was going travelling I got mixed reactions but the only reaction that annoyed me was ‘are you going to find yourself?’ I was not going to find myself. I knew who I was and I wasn’t lost. I was quite sure of this and got quite angry when self-assured friends patronisingly asked me that question as if I was having some kind of personal crisis.

Of course, I was having some kind of personal crisis. I just didn’t want to admit it to anyone, including myself. It was only after I’d come home that I realised that there were almost two versions of me. I knew which one I liked the most. I knew which one my boyfriend liked the most.  And I knew which one my parents liked the most. Unfortunately, we didn’t all like the same one.

The original version of me had a life plan that was favoured by parents and followed the usual path: go to university ⇒ get a job ⇒ buy a house ⇒ get married ⇒ have children ⇒ be happy. This version of me decided to take some time out to travel when the plan wasn’t really achieving that end goal of making me happy. It was only when I came home that I realised that despite me resisting the concept of ‘finding myself’, I had, in fact, done just that. Being away had calmed my demeanour, re-evaluated when I considered to be important and changed my attitude to life. I had become more spontaneous and worried less. I took risks, jumped off high ledges (with ropes – I hadn’t had a complete personality transformation!) and became less concerned about money.

Version #2 – Traveller Me – was fun to be around and I liked her a lot. I only realised she was different to the original version when I returned home. Almost like relapsing, the longer I was home the more I realised I was converting back to Version #1 – Home Me. As I’ve now been home for nearly a full six months I’ve totally lost sight of the favourable version of myself. I’m tense, worry more and am all-round more grouchy and less fun to be around. I feel it when I talk to friends I met whilst travelling, when I’m with my boyfriend and when I’m alone with my thoughts.

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Me trying to find myself

I’m wondering if I’m alone in these thoughts. When you’re away from home and staying in hostels you hear a lot that going home is the hardest part. But no-one talks about what it will be like when you get there and how you will feel.  Do people that embark on long-term travelling have different personalities to those that don’t? Do personalities change to match the situation you’re in? When will I stop being annoyed that people were right when they asked me if I was going to find myself? And why does the thought of travelling again scare me a little even though I’ve done it before? I guess that’s why, for now, I’m a Rooted Traveller. But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it 😉

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